Seven years ago right now, I held sweet Hannah for the last time. Just a few hours from now, she would pass away in my arms. Still the most powerful moment in my life, and one I will never forget. It is a vivid, lifelong memory.
I was supposed to be at Michelle Obama in Vancouver, BC tonight for her ‘Becoming’ book tour. The snowstorm in February and its havoc shifted that for me, and I’m grateful. I am in the midst of one of the worst flu viruses I have ever had – rendering me completely bedridden yesterday, and finally moving slowly today. As I prepare for the rescheduled BSF gala on Sunday, it is important to be able to sit back and reflect. I didn’t really have a choice yesterday!
Sweet Hannah would be in 2nd grade right now, enjoying the sweet sunny days of the first of spring. This little one on the swing makes me think of her and who she might have become. I hold her as she will always be – a baby, but I can’t help but think of her own ‘Becoming’. We get to have that in our imagination, and I will forever think about who she would be if she were still with us.
I recently read this article about how caregivers never stop thinking of the children they care for. I know that the special doctors and nurses that cared for Hannah are still in our hearts, and I imagine that she is in theirs. Nothing replaces our kiddos that have passed, but knowing that she is held by many is wonderful salve for the pain we feel.
On this 21st of March, the first day of spring, I honor sweet Hannah. I miss her and love her, and hold her in my heart. And here’s her song, written in the final days of her life by Songs of Love.
