I have had 9 years to sit in my bereavement. Not a day goes by that Hannah isn’t on my mind, often countless times. I only had 16 months with my sweet baby on earth. But really, I’ve had 133 months with my Hannah. From the moment I knew I was pregnant to today, she is with me. Not being on this earth doesn’t mean that she isn’t my child. She is. I love her now in the same way I loved her when I could hold her in my arms. I received a lot of wonderful guidance after Hannah passed away, and it still feels so true even after all of these years. As the bravely written post here says, “Eventually you’ll learn how to carry the weight of the pain. At times it will crush you. At other times you’ll learn how to shoulder the burden with newfound grit and grace. Either way, you’ll learn how to bend with the weight of it. It will not break you. Not entirely.”
https://abedformyheart.com/dear-newly-bereaved-parent/.
On Friday, my amazing brother-in-law Karl passed away from Glioblastoma. For more than 3 ½ years, he fought this horrible disease. He was so incredibly strong – both in his physical body and in his spirit. He lived for his daughter Katie, our miracle 12-year-old niece. He lived for his wife Angela, my sister. He lived for the people that surrounded him with love – his family and friends. And he lived to be the best person he could be. He truly enjoyed life and worked hard every day being in the world. It wasn’t until he couldn’t do the things that meant the most to him that he finally succumb to the cancer taking over his brain. Karl has so many lessons to teach us. While we are here for those around us, we can’t forget to take care of ourselves.
As I’ve shared throughout the years on this blog, music has always been a way for me to connect to my heart. While I’m deeply steeped in being a bereaved parent, there are so many parents that lose children every day, in so many heartbreaking ways. My heart is heavy for the families here on our little island who lost their daughters in a tragic car accident this week. Hannah, Hazel and Marina will be in our hearts forever (whether we knew them personally or not).
Thinking about these losses and the families who are mourning, I pulled together a playlist of music that matters to me. “Songs to Mend a Broken Heart” is an hour of music that I love and has marked moments over the past decade as I’ve loved and lost. I attached the playist in both Amazon Music and Spotify. I hope one of the formats works for you and you enjoy the songs. I love each of them and will have this on high rotation going forward.
Sending my love to Karl, to Hannah, Hazel and Marina, and to Sweet Baby Hannah. You are forever in our hearts.
AMAZON MUSIC (click on this link to go to Amazon Music)