Riding the Wave
Grief comes and goes
like waves in the ocean.
There will be stormy times….
there will be calm times….
Grief comes and goes.
Welcome to allysonbrown.com – I thought it was time to separate my thoughts and writings that I usually muse on Caringbridge to a separate site. I’ll continue to update the Caringbridge site for Hannah with medical and health issues, but I will now focus writing about our broader life here. Please feel free to follow this site and the Caringbridge if you like.
Writing has been so therapeutic for me – I always loved writing, but with the challenges facing our family over the past few years, it has been an outlet that provides so much to me.
I am working on what life in the future will look like for me. I know that my role as mom, wife and friend are most critical. I also know that my professional self is a significant part of who I am. I realize that life is truly like riding a wave – the waves come and go, and we can either succumb to their forces and drown, or learn to read and ride. That is my choice – to ride the wave. Thank you for all of your support.
When you play in the ocean, you learn that you have two options – you either ride the wave and approach the power of nature with humility, patience and confidence, or you drown. So it is with our story of Hannah’s life.
We have learned to ride the wave that for us presented itself as an undiagnosed metabolic condition, beginning with seizures and code blue at 4 hours after birth, to over a year of continued daily challenges, vigilance and what feels like insurmountable obstacles. We know that Hannah’s life most likely will be a short one – her encephalopathy and degeneration are constant reminders that our beautiful daughter won’t get better.
Yet what we know now as a family (and each of us individually), is that it is possible to find joy in these waves. Each day we wake, not knowing if we’ll have a calm, smooth day or a day filled with gale-force winds. We have found that no matter what, if you can let go of the need for planning and structure and just be flexible, life will be okay.
This “Riding the Wave” project is my opportunity to tell the story of our lives so as to help others. Originally started as a Caring Bridge blog, my hope is to bring these thoughts and experiences to a much broader audience, and in turn help organizations that have given us so much support during this process a tool to tell both their story and amazing impact on our lives.